Sunday’s race was a long way from when I started this blog two years ago. Back in 2008, I was struggling to regain my old running form. 5K’s and 10K’s were a challenge. I was slow and not quite steady, and honestly very frustrated at not being able to run as fast as I once had.
At the same time, Kate was in the thick of her battle against pancreatic cancer. After six months of treatment, she scored a huge victory by going into partial remission, and though she had hit a bit of a plateau in 2008, all of us were optimistic about her future. All she needed was that magical combination of drugs and treatment to deliver the final knockout punch, and she would be back to full health. She was determined and brave, and I really thought she was going to be one of the rare few to make it over the long haul.
I would describe 2010 as bittersweet. A year of resolution and almost getting back to the way my life was in 2006 --- before the injury, before the surgery and rehab, and before Kate and my grandfather got sick. But it can never be the same, not with the passing of Kate in June, and the day after her funeral, the passing of Grandpa from stomach cancer. Those two losses hit me like a ton of bricks, and I was overcome with sadness, guilt, anger, depression (not the clinical kind) --- all of the emotions usually associated with grief.
Yet through it all, there was one aspect of my life that was going well --- running. Every day, I was running faster and stronger. It’s like my body awakened from a four year sleep. Runs of every distance became easier, be it a 4 mile jog or 13 mile long run. And the training runs and track workouts with Anne went better than at any time since we started working together.
In a certain respect, Sunday marked the fact that I have come full circle from that horrible Saturday in January 2007 when I injured my ankle. Like the fading scar from my surgery, the events of the past four years are becoming less and less vivid in my mind, and for the first time in years, I’m eagerly looking forward to what the future holds in running and with life.
Now that I have closed this chapter in my life, I have decided to make this my last and final entry on this blog. A new blog that will solely focus on running is in the works, Matt’s Running Blog, and should be up and running (no pun intended) shortly. I will continue to maintain my efforts to raise awareness about pancreatic cancer by getting more involved with the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network. I would encourage everyone to consider making a donation to support this wonderful organization and worthy cause.
Last but not least, I would like to thank all my friends and family for your incredible support over the past few years; I really could not have gotten through these challenges without you guys.
Finally ---
Rest in peace, Kate. Rest in peace, Grandpa. And may G-d bless both of you.
Matt
Kate and Me, June 2008
Grandpa and me in NYC, May 4, 2003
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